Release
by RoraShigoto
Summary: I held the blade with delicacy. I waited. Finally, I let it slide across the crest of my flesh. I watched the blood boil up to the surface. I soon felt it. I felt the release that came with the blood. I smiled contently. And then I slipped away. .:Demyx:.


**Release**

_I held the blade with delicacy. I waited. Finally, I let it slide across the crest of my flesh. I watched the blood boil up to the surface. I soon felt it. I felt the release that came with the blood. I smiled contently. And then I slipped away. /Demyx.../

* * *

_

I slammed the door behind me.

No, I thought, no, no, no. I wouldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. There was just no way that it could possibly be. There was no way that my heart could have just been shattered like that. No way in this world. Demyx loves me. He told me so. I know he does. He does. He does.

I landed on my bed with a heavy thump, crying. Trying to hold myself together, I sat up. I reached under my bed. I felt for the one thing I knew could help me. The one thing I knew would always make me feel better. I finally grabbed a small box that I kept hidden under my bed. I pulled it up onto my lap. Opening the lid, I smiled at the objects inside.

Open and dull safety pins, old pieces of sharp glass, a few broken shatters of CD's, and some used razor blades scattered out inside of the containment. It was my past that I remembered all too well. I glanced down at my left arm and sighed. I took off the arm warmer that kept everything hidden.

My arm looked graffiti. Lines crisscrossed everywhere atop my skin. More tears came as I remembered everything. It had been so long. So long since the incidents. Each scar had it's own purpose. It's own personality. It's own reason for being there. They were all different, some deeper than others. The deepest ones were my favorite. I ran an idle finger along one. A specific one. The first. The deepest. The vaguest memory. My head throbbed with the pain of the past as I thought of it.

Shaking my head and closing my eyes, I sighed. I looked back down into the box. I picked up a safety pin at random. It was old, rusted. Not good enough for even a small pick of blood to show. I threw it to the floor. Then I saw a blade. A perfect blade. The last one. The one that held the very first memory of Demyx. I picked it up, examining it. It shone beautifully. For a moment, I admired it.

_/It was at school, I remember, tenth grade. I was in the bathroom, crying and trying to hold back. I held the blade in my hand, ready and willing. Then the door opened widely. A blonde boy came in. I knew him from my class. We were assigned to be partners a few times during Science. He had the most gorgeous aquamarine eyes I had ever seen._

_He wanted to say something. He wanted to just tell me sorry that his friends had made fun of me earlier. But as soon as he saw me hunched over with my blade, he gasped. He ran to me, frantically taking it from me and scolding me. I promised never to do it again, as long as I could have lunch with him for that day./_

That was how Demyx and I came to know each other. During said lunch together, he decided that he liked me. I told him one day that I liked him, and he responded the same. And we fell in love. He loves me, and I know it.

Tears seared through my eyes, running down my face. I tried to wipe them away, to no avail. I held to the blade protectively. After calming down some, I breathed deeply and held the blade over my wrist. Just above the vein that always flexed out. It hovered as I decided where to leave the mark.

I let the blade droop down and sit on my skin. It lightly pushed into my flesh. But as the blood begun to show, I felt nothing. There was no release, no relive of emotions. I slid the razor down some, making the cut bigger. Still, nothing. I began running the blade back and forth, a bit deeper. Soon, I pulled back the razor and watched the blood flow from inside. I let my tears stain my face. I didn't bother to do anything about it. I placed the razor beside me, and I smiled.

_/"Zexion, can... can we talk?"_

_I nodded walking away from Axel and Marluxia with Demyx. He held a forlorn expression, his usual smile dropped into a frown. We stopped as we came into an empty classroom. Demyx sat atop a desk, swinging his legs back and forth. Smiling, I stood between his swinging legs and looked up to him. I wrapped my arms around his form and lightly kissed his neck. He bent down, letting me capture his lips once, for a too short moment._

_"Listen," he said, putting his arms lazily on my shoulders and tying them around my own back. "Zexion, I've got to tell you something..."_

_I nodded, telling him to go on. He looked away from me. Anywhere but me. I gave him a small squeeze, and he continued, "We're - my mom and I - are moving, Zexy."_

_"W-what?" I asked, taken aback. "Where? Somewhere close, right?"_

_"Well... not really. We're moving to Radiant Garden."_

_"Why?" I asked him, taking it all in. This couldn't be happening... the best thing that ever happened to me couldn't just come into my life for two years, and then just up and decide to leave!_

_"I'll be going to college there, and my mom found a job. So we don't have to depend on any of her boyfriends anymore," he told me slowly. He said it so calmly, it was as if he couldn't wait to leave me. As if he wanted to be rid of me._

_"And? I can go there, too, just give me three months to finish school up here, then I can-"_

_"No, Zexion, no. You-you don't understand. I can't live like that," he tried to explain. It didn't work. Not on me. He was trying to do what he always does. He was trying to make everyone happy. But it wouldn't work this time. "I can't have a relationship like that..."_

_Before he could finish, however, I was out the door./_

As the thought seared through my mind, I had grabbed a notebook and a pen from my desk. I was ready. I was happy. I felt the release. I felt time slipping away. I felt_ my _time slipping away. I began to write:

_** Demyx,**_

_**Please forgive me. I know I said I was done with the habit. But this is the last time, I swear. You won't see me anymore, so don't worry. Just know this...**_

_** I still love you. . .**_

_** -Zexion**_

I looked back down to my wrist, waiting. I didn't have the energy to rewrite the note, so that would have to do. I picked up the razor again, making a few more cuts around the first. I wiped some of the blood off, so as to not to stop the blood flow.

At last, as I cherished at how easily the red liquid ran out, I felt everything slipping from my concisous.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters. Yeah. . . 

Hmm... I hate this... I wrote it in thirty minutes... and I don't really like it that well... Ah well...

I kinda like it... very little...


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